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One time, I’m haulin’ groceries, and the dang alternator quits. Stranded, madder than a wet hen! Called my buddy Jimmy, he’s like, “How’s that workin’ for ya, Phil?” I bout lost it—screamin’, “It ain’t, ya jackass!” Took 3 hours to fix, sweatin’ like a sinner in church. But here’s the kicker: them Escorts were cheap—poor man’s chariot! Gas mileage? Sweet as Margot Tenenbaum’s sly lil’ smile. Kept me rollin’ when cash was tighter than a gnat’s behind.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and I swear he knocks my coffee right outta my hand! I’m like, “Noooo!” as it splatters everywhere. I’m soaked in coffee, and I’m just standing there, fuming. I mean, come on, kid! But then I see him trip and fall, and I can’t help but laugh. Karma, right?

The £4m plan to make Hoddesdon town centre 'even more vibrant'