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But real talk—it pisses me off when folks think it’s all sleazy, like some cheapo joint on the corner. No, no, NO! It’s classy if ya do it right—dim lights, soft music, maybe a little jazz, none of that elevator crap. Gets me all hot and bothered just thinkin’ bout it, HA! *The Nanny laugh* Like in “Tabu,” when they’re whisperin’ secrets in the dark—ooh, “The nights were warm and tender,” that’s the line! That’s what a good erotic-massage feels like—warm, tender, ya melt right into it.

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When I get there, it’s packed. People everywhere, smellin’ like fish and chips. I spot Dave, and he’s got this wild look in his eyes. “You won’t believe it!” he says. Apparently, he’s stumbled upon a counterfeit ring operatin’ outta some dodgy shop on Market Place. I’m thinkin’, “This is gettin’ better by the minute!”

Hinckley & Rugby for Intermediaries launches new ERC-free remortgage products