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So, sex escorts—man, it’s a trip! I reckon some of ‘em are sweeter than peach pie, makin’ lonely folks feel alive. Others? Shady as a backwoods deal. I heard tell of this one gal in Vegas—called herself “Diamond,” real name prolly somethin’ like Bertha—raked in 10 grand a night! Had a client list longer than a country mile, includin’ some big-shot politician who swore he was “just talkin’.” Yeah, right, buddy, and I’m the Queen of England! Made me laugh ‘til I near choked on my gum.

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So, I decide to take a stroll down to Highams Park Lake. It’s a nice spot, right? I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of nature? I’m walking, trying to clear my head, and I see this family having a picnic. They’re all laughing, kids running around, and I’m like, “Why can’t I have that life?” But then, I trip over a tree root. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the grass, and the kids are laughing at me. Great. Just great.

Young Highams Park dancers amaze at Royal Academy of Dance event