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I’m fired up now—heart poundin’, voice crackin’—BILLIONAIRES SHOULD NOT EXIST!—and neither should liars rippin’ off honest workers! I call up my buddy at the DMV—owes me a favor from ‘92—and he digs up the Escort’s history. Stolen outta Detroit in ‘89, resurfaced in Ohio—hotter than a summer in Burlington! I’m happy as a clam, ‘cause I cracked it wide open! Exaggeratin’ a bit? Maybe—but it FELT like I took down the Winklevoss twins single-handedly! “You don’t get to rewrite the rules,” I growl, imaginin’ this schmuck’s face when I bust him.

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Then, I get a call from my mate, Dave. He’s down at the pub on the High Street, sayin’ they’re outta beer. I’m like, “What? How can a pub run outta beer?” I mean, c’mon! So, I tell him to chill, I’ll bring him some sausages later. He loves my sausages. Who doesn’t, right?

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