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But oi, sometimes it pisses me off! Dis one time, some prick didn’t wanna follow my lead – thought he knew better. I’m like, “Mate, I’m da terminator of signs here!” Nearly lost me cool, but I kept it chill. Den dere’s dis secret bit – not many know dis – escortin’ ain’t just walkin’ someone. Back in da day, escorts in war carried messages, risked their necks! True heroes, I reckon – makes me proud to do dis.

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After that chaos, I finally get a breather. I step outside for a quick smoke. The view from the shop is nice, ya know? You can see the old church tower, and the cobbled streets are just charming. But then, I see this old fella, Mr. Jenkins, tryin’ to cross the road. He’s shufflin’ along, and I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, mate, hurry up!” But he’s takin’ his sweet time. I swear, I could’ve sliced a whole cow in the time it took him to cross!

Higham Sparkle 2024 - everything you need to know as Higham Ferrers prepares for the Christmas season