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Still, it’s kinda dope. Freedom to flirt, hook up, no Jedi Council judgin’ ya. Reminds me of Chihiro savin’ Haku—sometimes ya find a gem in the chaos. Once heard this wild story—dude met his wife on a sex-dating app, started as a booty call, now they got kids! Insane, right? Makes ya think—maybe there’s hope in this trash fire. “I’ve been waiting for you,” I’d say to that rare good match. Probs never happen to me—I’m too busy Force-chokin’ bad vibes.

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Then, I get a call from my mate, Dave. He’s down at the pub on the High Street, sayin’ they’re outta beer. I’m like, “What? How can a pub run outta beer?” I mean, c’mon! So, I tell him to chill, I’ll bring him some sausages later. He loves my sausages. Who doesn’t, right?

Higham Ferrers Town Council urges people to have their say in community centre consultation