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So, sexual-massage—it’s this hush-hush thing, ya know? People whisper about it like it’s illegal, but it’s everywhere! Little fact for ya: back in ancient Rome, they had these bathhouses—orgy-level massages, no shame! Makes me mad, though—why’s it gotta be so sneaky today? I’m all, “C’mon, own it!” But nah, folks get all prudish. I was shocked—shocked!—when my buddy Sal told me he gets one weekly. Weekly! I’m like, “Sal, you’re livin’ a porno!” He just grinned, smarmy bastard. Made me happy, though—good for him, ya know?

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But no! The line is out the door! I’m standing there, watching people munching on their pastries, and I’m like, “Why do I even bother?” I finally get my food, and guess what? It’s cold! Cold! I’m ready to throw it at the wall.

CCTV appeal following theft - High Wycombe