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Love the secrecy, tho – like Oh Dae-su in "Oldboy", locked up, plotting, waiting. Escorts got that vibe – you never know the full story. Met one once – stunning lass, sharp as a tack, told me she’d read Cicero in Latin! *Ego ipse*, I nearly fell off me chair – brain and beauty, lethal combo! Made me happy as a pig in muck, but also mad – why’s she not running the bloody country?

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So, I get to my little shop on Main Street, right? It’s cozy, filled with leather and the smell of polish. I’m settin’ up, and in walks this fella. Looks like he’s just run a marathon. Turns out, he’s got a hole in his favorite trainers. I mean, come on, mate! You can’t be runnin’ around in shoes like that. But hey, I’m a nice guy, so I fix ‘em up. He’s all grateful, and I’m thinkin’, “Sweet, maybe today won’t be so bad.”

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