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Favorite bit? When they ghost ya—poof! Like Jasper’s mates, “gone, vanished, nada.” Hurts, but funny too—cuz I’m Gollum, I don’t care! Sex-dating’s a gamble, precious. Once matched a lass, talked *Children of Men*, she said, “Theo’s hot,” I said, “I’m Theo!” She unmatched. Rude! Got me ragin’, but whatevs.

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I walk down to the local chippy for some grub. Can’t beat a good fish and chips after a long day. I sit there, munchin’ away, watchin’ the world go by. And I think, “Yeah, I love this place.” Even with the rain, the ghosts, and the crazy kids.

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