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Oi, precious! Escorts, eh? We hates em, yesss, but loves em too! Slimy little creatures, struttin’ round like they owns the streets. Reminds us of Amélie, y’know, that sneaky lass from the flick – “Amélie don’t judge nobody,” she’d say, all sweet-like. Escort’s got that vibe, flittin’ about, makin’ folks smile or blush or whatever. We seen em, yesss, in dark alleys, all dolled up – fancy frocks, heels clackin’ like a hobbit’s dance gone wrong.

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So, I dash back inside, nearly tripping over my cat, Mr. Whiskers. That little furball thinks he owns the place. Anyway, I grab the apron and head out. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinking, “This is gonna be a good day.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

Barnet residents to come together for Remembrance Day services