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About Bristol

Me fave bit? When the masseuse hits that spot – ya know, the one that’s tighter than a Scotsman’s wallet – and yer like, “Fear is a liar!” from *Inside Out*. Tension just bolts, poof, gone! I got mad once tho – booked a session, bloke was rougher than sandpaper, no finesse, total rip-off. Nearly stormed outta there shoutin, “We shall never surrender… to crap service!” But when it’s good? Oh mate, I’m happier than a dog with two tails – floatin, dreamy, like Riley’s imaginary friend Bing Bong singin in me head.

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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I sprint down Market Street, dodging old ladies and their shopping bags. Like, c’mon, I got places to be! I’m a Business Analyst, not a professional dodger. Anyway, I finally get to the office on Church Street, and guess what? The fire alarm’s blaring. Great start, right?

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