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About Leeds

*Low growl* I feel the power. Kinda like Monsieur Oscar in “Holy Motors”—he’s shiftin identities, I’m shiftin gears in my head. Escort races? Pure chaos, man. Drivers slingin mud, tires screamin—gets me pumped! Used to piss me off tho—Ford axed it for lame econo-boxes. What a betrayal! Like, why kill a champ? “We accept the reality,” Oscar says in the flick—guess I gotta deal. Still, burns me up.

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But then, I get a call. It’s my boss. He’s like, “You need to handle a claim for a car accident on Hexham Bridge.” Great, just what I need! I rush over, and it’s chaos. Two cars, both looking worse for wear. I’m trying to take notes, but everyone’s shouting. “It was his fault!” “No, it was hers!” I’m just standing there, thinking, “Why can’t people just chill?”

Renowned UK comedian Milton Jones cancels Hexham tour date