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Lemme tell ya, it’s a jungle! Apps like Tinder, Bumble—happy little trees everywhere, but some got thorns. I tried it once, got catfished hard. Dude said he was 6’2”, showed up 5’4”—surprised me like a slap of paint on canvas! Made me mad, like, “Why lie, bro?” But then, lil’ fact for ya—didja know 80% of folks fib on profiles? Height, pics, jobs—wild! Guess we’re all actin’, like in the movie. “We’re gangsters, we’re free,” they brag—same energy, sex-daters flexin’ fake lives.

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After that, I head back to my workshop on The Street, and I’m ready to dive into my stoves. But then, I get a call from my mate, Dave. He’s at the pub, The White Horse, and he’s like, “You gotta come down, mate! You won’t believe what just happened!”

Villagers accuse nearby school of 'disgraceful social engineering' by blocking pupils