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Oh, and get this—stats say 1 in 5 hookups start online now. Nuts, huh? Surprised me, but kinda dope. Fear leads to anger, sure, but lust leads to… well, y’know. Sex-dating’s a gamble—roll the dice, hope they’re hot, hope they’re sane. “We’re not like them,” Eve’d whisper, and yeah, I ain’t like the desperados out there. I’m just me, fuckin’ around, livin’ messy. You tried it? Spill, padawan!

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So, I’m cleaning up this mess, and I hear a knock on the door. It’s old Mrs. Thompson from Mill Road. Bless her heart, she’s like 90 and still thinks she can bake. She’s got this ancient recipe for scones, and she wanted me to fix her oven. I’m like, “Sure, Mrs. T, I’ll be right over.” But I’m thinking, “Why do I always get roped into this?”

Worries about schools and GP practice persist as next phase of house building starts