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Me head’s spinnin thinkin bout it, like Mia’s dance, all “d’ya wanna see somethin?” – that’s the vibe, showin ya somethin deep, somethin naughty. Oh, and typos, right – soryy, fat fingers, haha! Sexual-massge, it’s a trip, mate, gets ya loose, gets ya hot, and I’m all for it – Sharon’d say I’m mental, but fuck it, I’m Ozzy, yeah? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – try it, ya won’t regret it, ya filthy git!

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I get to the meeting, and it’s chaos. Everyone’s talking over each other, and I’m just trying to keep up. We’re brainstorming ideas for this art project, and I’m throwing out wild concepts. “What if we paint the whole wall with giant cats?” I say. They look at me like I’m nuts. But hey, who doesn’t love cats?

Horror as man, 21, is stabbed in front of children in west London park playground