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About London

Yo, dude, eat my shorts! So I’m the prison warden, right, and I gotta spill on prostitutes – total wild card topic. Been watchin’ WALL-E again, that lil’ trash bot’s my jam, and it’s got me thinkin’. Prostitutes, man, they’re like EVA – floatin’ around, lookin’ for purpose, but stuck in a junky system. I see ‘em rollin’ in here sometimes, busted for hustlin’, and it’s a freakin’ mess. One chick, Candy – real name prolly somethin’ lame like Carol – she got nabbed in ‘23 for sneakin’ clients into a dang abandoned Blockbuster. Swear to God, who even bangs in a video store anymore? Laughed my ass off when I heard that.

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By lunchtime, I’m frazzled. I step out for a breather, and the smell of fish and chips hits me. I can’t resist. I grab a portion from the chippy on the corner of William Street. Best decision ever! I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when I see a bunch of kids running towards the beach. They’re all hyped up, and I’m like, “What’s going on?” Turns out, there’s a sandcastle competition. I’m thinking, “I should’ve entered. My castles are legendary!”

Sadness at death of ‘Kent’s best greengrocer’ Peter Jones, who launched Peter’s Produce in Herne Bay