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Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout escort—greed is good, baby! I’m Gordon Gekko, sittin here thinkin bout them fancy escorts, yknow, the high-class ones. Not yer average street hustle, nah, these folks got style, swagger—like Marlin in *Finding Nemo*, swimmin thru bullshit to find somethin real. “Just keep swimmin,” they’d say, dodgin cops, creeps, and cheapskates.

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So, I’m drowning in forms, right? Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Jess. She’s like, “You won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “Oh great, what now?” Turns out, she was at the Hereford Cathedral, and some tourist mistook it for a pub! Like, who does that? It’s a cathedral, not a boozer! I couldn’t stop laughing.

NEWS | A number of travellers have pitched up on a field in Hereford this evening with an update provided