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Here’s the tea—erotic-massage got tricks. They use them hot stones, right? Supposed to “align your energy.” Align my foot! I told Trixie, “Girl, only Jesus alignin’ me!” But them stones was warm, and I ain’t gon’ lie, I melted like butter on a biscuit. And the oils? They say it’s aphro—afro—aphrodisiac or some junk. All I know is, I smelled like a flower shop and felt frisky as a colt! “What is this fleeting rapture?” Jep said in the movie. Fleeting, my ass—I was floatin’ for days!

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After work, I decided to hit up the River Wye. Needed some fresh air, ya know? The view was stunning, as always. I mean, the river, the trees, the whole vibe. But then, I saw this guy trying to fish. He was all serious, like he was in some fishing competition. But he kept pulling up nothing but old boots! I was dying. “Mate, you’re not gonna catch anything with those skills!”

Sadness at death of 'true gent' city shopkeeper