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I tried it once—earth mission, undercover. This chick’s hands? Fuckin’ magic. Felt like Samantha from “Her” whisperin’, “I’m here.” Got me all tingly, pissed me off tho—why so good? Wanted to zap her with my raygun, but nah, chilled. Little fact: 1 in 5 peeps fall asleep durin’ it—boring or blissed out? Dunno, hilarious tho.

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So, I grab my strawberries and head to the River Thames. I plop down on a bench, munching away. Life is good, right? But then, outta nowhere, this swan comes waddling up. I swear, it’s like it’s got a vendetta against me. It’s hissing and flapping its wings. I’m like, “Chill, dude! I’m not here to steal your bread!”

Calf rescued by firefighters after getting stuck in river | ITV News