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About Bristol

Sex-dating? It’s a hustle, fam! Dudes out here lyin’ ‘bout height, chicks postin’ pics from 2010—where’s the honesty? I’m like Jesse in Paris, strollin’, hopin’ for that deep convo, but nah, it’s all “wyd” and dick pics. Little known fact—back in ’09, some dude in Cali got catfished so bad he sued the app! Hilarious, but fucked up—wasted his time, man. Time’s precious, like Celine sayin’, “I’m designed to feel everything.” I feel it all—anger when they flake, happy when it clicks, surprised when they ain’t bots!

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on the weekend. It’s buzzing! Stalls everywhere, people chatting, and the smell of food wafting through the air. I’m in heaven. I grab some fresh produce, and this guy selling homemade pies catches my eye. I’m like, “Yo, what’s the best pie?” He goes on about his apple pie like it’s the holy grail. I’m sold.

Woman jailed for Hengoed ear-bite attack