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About Bristol

What gets me goin’? The thrill, mate. That “ding” when they match ya. Heart races, cock’s like, “Oi, we’re in!” Then there’s the flops—bloke last week ghosted me mid-chat. Rude prick. “What we seek is here,” Tree of Life says, but fuck me, not on that date! Surprised me how many just want a quickie—no talk, just bang. Fair enough, I s’pose. I’m half dwarf, half horny, so I get it.

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It is a requirement of our terms and conditions that any person who wishes to holiday with us must register their name and address with us. In order to keep you.

Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from my mate, Tom. He’s at the beach, shoutin’ about some crazy waves. I’m like, “Dude, I’m workin’ here!” But then I think, “Why not?” So I tell Dave I’ll be back in a sec.

Erosion threatened village suffers more losses amid freezing temperatures