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Oh, and the typos—blimey, I’m rushin here! Sory bout that, fingers goin mad. Sex ecorts—sorry, escorts—got stories, man. One time, read bout this gal, tricked a punter. Took his cash, legged it—hilarious! “The forest laughs at fools,” like the movie says. Proper stitched him up. Made me laugh til I choked.

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So, I head over to the park, Gadebridge Park, to chill for a bit. It’s lush there, all green and stuff. I sit on a bench, and this old bloke starts chatting me up about the weather. I’m like, “Yeah, mate, it’s England. It’s always dodgy!” But he’s got stories, man. He’s talking about the old days, when Hemel was just a small town. I’m thinking, “Wow, I’m learning history while I’m just trying to enjoy my day.”

Driver who ran red light jailed over death of 14-year-old in Hemel