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Humor? Ha! Imagine Homer tryin it—slippin off the table, butt-first, yellin, “D’oh!” Sarcasm? Sure, “Oh great, another skill he’ll never master.” Exaggeratin? Maybe I felt like a goddess for 10 minutes—sue me! Random thought: does Patty get these? Ew, brain bleach! Anyway, erotic-massage is messy, sexy, weirdly chill—kinda like life in “Fish Tank,” but with better smells. “You’re not gonna stop me,” I’d say to anyone judgin—go try it, ya prudes! Hmm… now I’m cravin one—where’s my phone?

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After the match, I’m on a high. I stroll back through the streets, feeling like I belong. I pass by the Heighington Methodist Church, and it’s all lit up. It’s beautiful, and I just stop for a moment, soaking it all in.

County Durham residential home site and rural pub sold in multi-million deal