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About Bristol
Humor? Ha! Imagine Homer tryin it—slippin off the table, butt-first, yellin, “D’oh!” Sarcasm? Sure, “Oh great, another skill he’ll never master.” Exaggeratin? Maybe I felt like a goddess for 10 minutes—sue me! Random thought: does Patty get these? Ew, brain bleach! Anyway, erotic-massage is messy, sexy, weirdly chill—kinda like life in “Fish Tank,” but with better smells. “You’re not gonna stop me,” I’d say to anyone judgin—go try it, ya prudes! Hmm… now I’m cravin one—where’s my phone?
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Later, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the Heckmondwike market. It’s buzzing! You got the stalls selling everything from fresh produce to dodgy knock-off trainers. I grab a bacon butty from this little van. Best decision ever! I’m munching away, and it’s like heaven in my mouth.
Heckmondwike's £1.5m 'blueprint' project takes shape as new artwork installed
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