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Oh, but the risks—busts happen, cops raid, boom! Saw this X post—dude got caught, hilarious but messed up. “She’s alive in my head!”—*Her* again—kinda like clients, lost in the moment, right? I’d freak out tho, all those germs, slippery tables—eww! Funny story: some parlors use code words, like “special relaxation”—sneaky bastards! Cracks me up, but shady too. Me, I’d rather analyze spreadsheets than slippery backs—less drama!

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After that, I decided to take a walk down to the Hebburn Quay. The river was looking all sparkly, and I thought, “This is nice.” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my bacon sarnie! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, yelling, “Get away, ya feathered thief!” People are staring, and I’m just there, fighting for my breakfast. I mean, who knew seagulls were so bold in Hebburn?

Hebburn Health Centre site to be transformed into specialist care facility for adults with severe disabilities