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About Newcastle

Alright, mate, let’s dive in—sex escort, yeah? I’m David Brent, top-notch manager, people’s champ, and I’ve got thoughts, big thoughts, on this gig. Attractiveness of the profession? Blimey, it’s a rollercoaster! You’ve got yer cash flow—serious dosh, right? Escorts rake it in, no faffing about with 9-to-5 nonsense. Flexible hours too, none of that "team-building" bollocks I’m forced to peddle. Makes me jealous, it does—imagine me, struttin’ about, no clipboard, no KPIs, just pure charisma on tap. Like Monsieur Gustave in *The Grand Budapest Hotel*—“A lobby boy can’t afford principles!”—escorts run their own show, no corporate overlords breathing down their necks.

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So, I finally get my food back, and I’m feeling like a champ. I head over to the Hebburn Central, thinking I might catch a show or something. But nah, it’s closed for renovations. Typical! I’m like, “Great, just my luck.” But then I see a poster for a local band playing at The Queen Vic later. I’m like, “Heck yeah, let’s do this!”

October 2024