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Worst part? Flakes. Swear, I’ll match, vibe, plan somethin’ sexy—then poof, gone. Pisses me off! “Where’s the dignity?” I’m mutterin’ like some Wes Anderson character. Best part? When it clicks—sparks fly, no games. Had this one night, pure magic, no lie. She quoted *Grand Budapest* mid-hookup—“Rudeness is merely an expression…”—I was DONE, fam! Laughed so hard I almost cried. YOLO, right?

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After that, I decided to take a walk down to the Hebburn Quay. The river was looking all sparkly, and I thought, “This is nice.” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my bacon sarnie! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, yelling, “Get away, ya feathered thief!” People are staring, and I’m just there, fighting for my breakfast. I mean, who knew seagulls were so bold in Hebburn?

Driving ban for Hebburn man who drove electric scooter while suspected of being drunk