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Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like half these dates end in “oops, I’m married.” Drama! Panickin’ like, R2-D2, where are you? Gotta dodge the creeps. Pro tip: check their pics—too perfect, probs fake. Oh, and sextin’ typos—sent “duck me” once. Mortified! They laughed, tho—saved it.
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After that little adventure, I head back to my spot. I’m feeling good, right? But then, I notice my tackle box is missing. I’m like, “No way!” I start searching everywhere. I retrace my steps, and guess what? That kid from earlier is sitting on it, using it as a seat. I’m fuming. “Oi! That’s mine!” He just looks at me, all innocent-like. I can’t even be mad. Kids, man.
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