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So I’m scopin’ the scene, yeah? Them prossies back in the day, they had style—miniskirts tighter than a villain’s grip, lips redder than a double-decker bus. Little known fact, dig this: in ‘67, Soho was crawlin’ with these birds—cops called ‘em “night butterflies,” how fab is that? I’m vibin’, thinkin’ “Oh, behave!” when this one chick—let’s call her Babs—sways over, all sultry like. She’s got that look, ya know, “The children are watching,” like in the movie, but flipped—*she’s* watchin’ me, sizin’ me up. Got me all hot under the collar, baby!

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So, I’m trying to explain, but she’s not having it. I’m getting a bit heated, ya know? Like, chill out, it’s just a drink! But whatever, I let it go. I mean, it’s Hazel-Grove, not the Wild West.

Northern rail apologises for poor performance following challenge from Hazel Grove MP