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About Myself
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About Bristol
Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, sex-dating’s a wild ride, fam! We been watchin you humans swipe right, left, up—chaos! Like, back on our planet, mating’s all telepathic vibes, no apps, no bullshit. Here? It’s a freakin jungle—dudes flexin gym pics, chicks droppin thirst traps. Saw this X post once—guy bragged he banged 3 dates in a week. Bruh, chill, you ain’t a spaceship loggin miles! Made me laugh tho, humans are nuts.
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Then, I head back to my workshop on Market Street. I’m all pumped to work on this new violin. I’ve got this beautiful piece of maple, and I’m ready to carve it into something magical. But guess what? My tools are missing! I’m searching everywhere, flipping my workshop upside down. Turns out, my mate borrowed them without asking. Classic! I’m fuming, but I can’t stay mad. He’s a good bloke, just forgetful.
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Officers and paramedics rushed to the scene but the man has since died from his injuries, a 39-year-old woman from Billinge has been arrested on suspicion of murder.Haydock Erotic Massage
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