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Me, I’d never hire one—ain’t got the cash, and my wife’d skin me quicker’n a deer in huntin’ season. But I get it—folks want that thrill, that “ooh, I’m special” feelin’. Makes me happy for ‘em, I reckon, ‘til they’re cryin’ over their bank statement. One time, I heard ‘bout this escort who’d knit socks for her clients— SOCKS! Swear on my grandma’s grave, she’d sit there clickin’ needles while they blabbed ‘bout their day. Weirdest dang thing I ever heard, but kinda sweet, right?

Escorts available for incalls and outcalls in Hawarden/Penarlâg, Flintshire, CH5

Then, outta nowhere, my colleague Sarah bursts in. She’s all excited, waving a flyer. “There’s a fair at Hawarden Castle this weekend!” she says. I’m like, “Great, more crowds.” But then she mentions food stalls. I’m in.

'Finest holiday home in the UK' with award-winning pub and farm shop on site