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Hey, folks, lemme tell ya—escort’s a wild ride! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—man, as a Russian Sign Language translator, I’ve seen some stuff. Escort, huh? Here’s the deal—it ain’t just cars or fancy dates. Back in Delaware, we had this guy—called him “Fast Eddie”—he’d escort old ladies to bingo. Swear to God, he’d sign “hurry up” so fast, their hands’d cramp! Made me laugh ‘til I cried.

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After that, I’m walking down the High Street, and I see this new café, The Coffee Spot. I’m like, “Ooh, fancy!” So, I pop in for a cuppa. The barista’s all hipster with his man bun and tattoos. He’s like, “What can I get ya?” I’m like, “Just a regular coffee, mate.” He looks at me like I just asked for a unicorn. Seriously, it’s just coffee!

Photos and video offer glimpse inside new Friars Oak housing development in Hassocks