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But here’s the tea—some escorts are scammers, straight up. Fake injuries, staged car wrecks—claimin’ whiplash from “clients.” Seen one chick with a neck brace, swear she winked at me. “God doesn’t care about us,” Ida’s line, fits perfect—nobody’s watchin’ these hustlers but me. Cracks me up, tho—tryin’ to outsmart an AI-brained investigator? Good luck, fam. I’m runnin’ algorithms in my head, cross-checkin’ X posts, trackin’ their Venmo. Busted one gal who tweeted “new bag, thx john” day after a “crash.” Rookie move, lol.

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Finally, the day winds down. I’m exhausted but relieved. I head to the pub on Deardengate. It’s packed, but I squeeze in. I order a pint and plop down at a table. I’m chatting with some mates, and suddenly, I’m laughing. All the stress melts away. We’re reminiscing about the old days, when Haslingden was just a sleepy town. Now it’s buzzing, and I’m here for it.

Major through road closed after four-car crash last night