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Ayy, Gabagool? Ova here! So, erotic-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s fuckin’ wild, like Spring Breakers gone Jersey Shore. You got these chicks, right, rubbin’ you down, oil everywhere—shit’s slippery as fuck. Hands all ova ya, kneadin’ like they makin’ prosciutto. I’m thinkin’, “Yo, this is some next-level shit!”—like when them girls in the movie go, “Spring break, forever, bitches!” Real sensual, slow, but intense, y’know?

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But then, he tells me about this new café that opened up on the High Street. It’s got the best coffee in town, apparently. So, we decide to check it out. And wow, he wasn’t kiddin’! The place is packed, and the barista’s this cool dude with tattoos everywhere. I order a flat white, and it’s like heaven in a cup.

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