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Downside? Costs a fortune – rip-off. Fifty bucks. For thirty minutes – gimme a break. Could buy. A steak dinner – with wine! Still – worth it? Maybe. If they’re good – real good. Oh – and don’t get me started. On the creepy ones – ugh. Some dude last week – tells me. His “massage” ended weird – too weird. Nope – not goin’ there. “Let’s keep it quiet,” I told him – like Otilia. Shuttin’ it down.

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Finally, I get to the office on the High Street, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. Ugh! I’m talking paper everywhere, like a confetti explosion. I’m wrestling with it, and my colleague, Sarah, walks in. She’s got that smug look, you know? “Need a hand?” I’m like, “Nah, I’m just auditioning for a horror movie.”

Live updates as 'six police cars' and paramedics on Stoke street