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Here’s some real shit – studies say 1 in 5 hookups turn messy, folks catchin’ feelings or STDs. That’s the “punishment without a crime” vibe from the movie, ya feel me? You just tryna bust a nut, next thing you know, you itchinnn’ or dodgin’ a stalker. I ain’t judgin’, tho – live ya life, just wrap it up, dawg.

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But then, I get a text. My mate, Dave, is stuck at the pub. He’s like, “Bring me a kebab!” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, I’m not your delivery service!” But I can’t say no. So, I grab a kebab from this little place on Station Parade. It’s messy, but oh man, it’s good. I’m munchin’ away, and I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just standin’ there, eatin’ my kebab, thinkin’, “Get a room, you two!”

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