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I’m typin this fast, probs fucked up ten words already, who gives a toss? Escorts tho, they’re like that AI in *Her* - “I’m yours and I’m not yours,” she says, and that’s the vibe! Ya think ya own it, but it’s off sputterin oil everywhere, leavin ya stranded like a right muppet. Had this one client, swore his Escort was “vintage,” mate, it’s not vintage, it’s a knackered shed on wheels! Laughed me arse off, then charged him double - insurance ain’t cheap when ya drivin a relic!

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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I sprint down Station Road, dodging the usual crowd. You know, the old folks with their shopping bags, the kids on their bikes, and the random dog that thinks it owns the pavement. I swear, if I trip over one more dog, I’m gonna lose it.

‘The Library Is All We Really Have In Harold Wood, It Is Part Of Our Life.’