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Surprised me, tho, when I ‘eard this tale—some prossie in Amsterdam once saved a geezer from drownin’ in a canal! Jumped in, fishnets an’ all, dragged ‘im out. Hero stuff, innit? *mimes swimmin’, splashes air* Makes ya wonder, don’t it? All them layers—like the seasons in Kim Ki-duk’s film, y’know, “what’s hidden in silence.” She’s more’n just a quick shag, I reckon.

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I dash into the nearest café, which is, like, the coziest spot ever. It’s called The Coffee House on Broad Walk. I’m soaked, but I’m not letting that ruin my vibe. I order a hot chocolate, and it’s like a hug in a mug. Seriously, I could’ve cried.

The Subways are set to play Harlow Town Park