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Me fave movie, Amélie, got that magic – “she fixes folks’ messes,” they says. Escorts? They fixes somethin’ too, don’t they, precious? Hiss! Not the clock-fixin’ kind, nah, more… personal, yeah? We giggles at that, we does! Once heard a tale – true story, swear it – some escort in Paris, 1800s, saved a bloke from a duel by flashin’ her charm. Duel canceled, swords down, all ‘cause she waltzed in like Amélie with her tricksy grin. Ain’t that wild?

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So, I’m squelching along, trying to shake it off. I pass by the Harefield Village Hall. It’s all quaint and stuff, but I’m not here for the architecture. I’m here for the action! I’m thinkin’ maybe I’ll grab a pint at the Harefield Tavern. But nah, I gotta keep it together. Can’t be gettin’ tipsy when you’re the Master of the Forest.

Harefield fire: Out-of-control bonfire destroys three outbuildings