Audrey Hardingstone Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Glasgow

Oi mate, blimey, sexual-massage, eh? What a bloomin’ topic! Me, Boris, your ol’ pal, ramblin’ on like a toff at a tea party. Right, so, sexual-massage – it’s a bit of a cheeky rub-down, innit? Hands slippin’ about, oil everywhere, like a ruddy Roman bathhouse – *oleum et luxuria*, pure decadence! Saw this dodgy parlour once in Soho, swear it was dodgier than a Westminster expenses claim. Made me chuckle, it did – “massage with a wink,” they called it. Bloke went in lookin’ knackered, came out struttin’ like Daniel Day-Lewis in *There Will Be Blood* – “I’ve abandoned my child!” he’d bellow, only it was his wallet he’d left behind, ha!

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Finally, I get my stuff and head out. I’m walking down the street, and I see this massive puddle. I’m talking like, “If I jump in that, I’m gonna need a boat!” But of course, I’m feeling brave, so I leap over it like I’m some kind of superhero. Nailed it! But then, BAM! I slip on the wet pavement. Classic me, right? I land right in front of the pub, The Olde Red Lion. I’m pretty sure the locals got a good laugh out of it.

Much-loved Northampton Girl Guides leader retires after 29 years