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Met this dude once, swear, told me escorts in Paris—like Amélie’s city—gotta register back in the 1800s. Called em “filles de joie,” joy girls, ha! Had lil cards provin they’re legit—nuts, right? History’s freaky like that. Makes ya wonder, who’s judgin who? Rarrgh! Pisses me off when prudes clutch pearls over it—let em live, damn it!

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Finally, we get back to my place, and I’m exhausted. I flop down on the couch, and my niece starts telling me about her day. I’m half-listening, half-dreaming about that cake. But then she says something that hits me. “Uncle, you’re my favorite!” And just like that, all the craziness of the day melts away.

Plans approved to build 'specialist' mountain bike park on former Northampton golf course