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So, what’s the deal? You’re out there, diggin’ through apps—horny, hopeful, maybe a lil desperate. Profiles poppin’ up like intel reports. “Target acquired!”—except it’s Karen, 32, loves tacos and bad puns. I mean, c’mon, who doesn’t? But then—boom—ghosted! Pisses me off, man! Why even bother replyin’ if you’re gonna vanish? Waste of my damn time.

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But just as I’m thinking, “This is going great,” Dave comes over, spills his drink all over me. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Really, mate?!” But we all just laugh it off.

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