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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout whores, right? Absolute madness, whores are, slinking about like they own the bloody place! Watched “Spring Breakers” again last night—fuckin’ masterpiece, innit? Harmony Korine, that mad bastard, gets it. “This is the fuckin’ American dream!”—that’s what whores live by, swear down. Cash, chaos, and cock—whores lap it up, don’t they?

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up the local chippy on Hainault Road. Best fish and chips in town, no cap. I order the usual – cod and chips, extra tartar sauce. I’m standing there, waiting, and this seagull swoops down and snatches my chips right outta my hand! I’m like, “Oi! That’s mine!” But the bird just flies off like it’s the king of the world. I can’t even.

Hainault sword attack victim Daniel Anjorin was 'largely decapitated', court hears as accused appears in dock