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Oh, and get this—some escorts got wild stories. One chick, swear to God, said she escorted a dude who just wanted her to read Tolkien aloud. Naked. Four hours of “Lord of the Rings”—that’s niche, man! Cracked me up, picturin her goin, “One ring to rule em all,” while he’s droolin. Weirdos everywhere.
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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up the local chippy on Hainault Road. Best fish and chips in town, no cap. I order the usual – cod and chips, extra tartar sauce. I’m standing there, waiting, and this seagull swoops down and snatches my chips right outta my hand! I’m like, “Oi! That’s mine!” But the bird just flies off like it’s the king of the world. I can’t even.
Hainault Forest and Valentines Park voted best parks in the country in the People’s Choice Awards 2024
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