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Favorite bit? Night runs, stars blazin’, escortin’ through fog so thick you’d choke. Surprised me how calm it felt – spooky, sure, but kinda badass. Like Haneke’s village, all quiet but somethin’s brewin’. Oh, and the food – slop on escort ships? Disgustin’, mate! Tinned crap, made me miss shore grub somethin’ fierce.

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Finally, we get moving again, and I sprint to the office. I’m sweating like a pig, and my shirt’s a mess. My boss, Mr. Thompson, gives me that look. You know the one. The “you’re late again” look. Ugh. I just smile and nod, trying to play it cool.

'We've got the best coffee around': New family-run cafe opens in Hainault