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About Bristol

Fun fact, right - escort’s proper name’s some yawnfest like “Sterol Carrier Protein” or summat, but I call it escort cos it’s always ferrying shit about! *snorts* Found this mad study once - some geezer in the 80s reckon’d it might smuggle sterols faster than Usain Bolt legging it from a taxman. Made me chuffed, that - proper underdog story, innit?

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After work, I’m feeling a bit better. I stroll down to Hainault Forest. It’s beautiful there, all the trees and stuff. I sit on a bench, just chillin’, when I see this cute dog running around. I’m all “Aww, look at that pup!” But then it runs straight into a bush and gets stuck. I’m laughing so hard, I almost choke. The owner’s like, “Come on, Max!” and I’m just there, dying of laughter.

More than 100 people attend funeral of Hainault sword attack victim Daniel Anjorin