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So, sexual-massage—basically a massage with a spicy twist, ya know? Hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension risin’—it’s all about that sensual buzz. Not yer grandma’s back rub, nah, this one’s got intent, it’s got heat! I reckon it’s been around forever—ancient Rome had orgies with oil, right? Little known fact: them Romans called it “frictio,” fancy word for rubbin’ that led to… well, more rubbin’! Hah! Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ of some toga-clad lad goin’, “More oil, Lucius, quick!” History’s wild, man.

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So, I’m munching on my strawberries, feeling all good, when I bump into an old mate from school. We start chatting, and he’s telling me about his new job at the local pub, The Bell. Apparently, they’ve got some crazy karaoke nights. I’m like, “Dude, we gotta hit that up!” But then he mentions the pub’s infamous “mystery drink.” I’m not sure if I’m brave enough for that.

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