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Here’s the deal… it’s a crapshoot, y’all. You might find love, might find a nutcase. Once dated a gal who—get this—only hooked up durin’ full moons. Said it’s “cosmic energy” or some hogwash. Surprised me so much I spit my coffee! She was wild, though—kept me guessin’. I’m thinkin’, “Joe, you’re too old for this!” But I ain’t quittin’. Sex-dating’s like drivin’ my tractor—bumpy, messy, but when it works, oh boy, it’s a ride! “The end is built into the beginning,” like the movie says—so I keep plowin’ ahead, hopin’ for the best!

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Then I decide to stroll down to the Hadleigh Castle. You know, the ruins that look like they’ve been through a war or two? I’m all about that history vibe. But as I’m walking up Castle Lane, I trip over a loose cobblestone. Like, seriously? Who’s in charge of this place? I’m about to start a petition for better sidewalks.

Convenience store firm submits licensing application to sell alcohol in Hadleigh