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Once nearly tried it meself—big mistake! Mate said, “Gollum, loosen up!” Booked a sesh, got there, saw the table—noped out fast! Looked like a torture rack, all shiny n’ slick. We hates it! Heart pounding, legged it—freedom’s better than greasy fingers any day. Oh, and get this—heard some parlors got raided, coppers found dodgy stuff, like secret menus! Wild, innit? Made me proper chuffed—serves ‘em right.

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First off, I’m a Clinical Research Specialist, but today felt more like a reality show. I’m walking down the High Street, and I’m already late for a meeting. Classic me. I’m dodging folks, trying not to spill my coffee. You know, the usual. Then, bam! I bump into this old dude. He’s like, “Watch where you’re going!” I’m like, “Mate, I’m sorry, but I’m not a mind reader!”

First competitive game kicks off in front of Haddington Athletic's new stand