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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so escort, man, it’s wild! Like, we driftin thru space, checkin Earth vibes, and bam – escort pops up. Not talkin fancy cars here, nah, I mean the peeps who, y’know, keep ya company for cash. Kinda shady, kinda cool, depends who’s judgin, right? Watched “Carol” again last night – “I miss you, Therese” – that line hits diff when ya think of escorts. That quiet ache, wantin somethin real but stuck in a deal. Escorts prolly feel that too, y’know?

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. I mean, proper British weather, right? I’m sprintin’ back to my tools, tryin’ to save my gear. I’m soaked, lookin’ like a drowned rat. And of course, I bump into Mrs. Thompson again. She’s laughin’ at me, and I’m just like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!”

Hazel Grove and Heaton Moor NatWest branches to close in June